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ACTUAL EXCUSES SENT TO SCHOOLS BY PARENTS:
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My son is under the doctor’s care and should not take P.E. today.  Please
execute him.

Please excuse Mary for being absent.  She was sick and I had her shot.

Dear School: Please eckuse John for being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32,
and 33.

Please excuse Gloria from Jim today.

John has been absent because he had 2 teeth taken off his face.

Chris will not be in school because he has an acre in his side.

Please excuse Tom for being absent yesterday.  He has diarrhea and his boots
leak.

Please excuse John for being.  It was his father’s fault.

Please excuse Jane.  She had been sick and under the doctor.

Sally won’t be in school a week from Friday.  We have to attend a funeral.

Please excuse my son’s tardiness.  I forgot to wake him up and I didn’t find
him until I started making the beds.

Please excuse Harriet from school yesterday.  We forgot to get the Sunday
paper off the porch, and when we found it on Monday, we thought it was Sunday.

Please excuse Ray from school.  He has very loose vowels.