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How he got into heaven

A man dies and goes to heaven. Of course, St. Peter meets him at the pearly gates.St. Peter says, "Here's how it works. You need 100 points to make it into heaven. You tell me all the good things you've done, and I give you a certain number of...

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Where is God?

A couple had two little boys, ages 8 and 10, who were excessively mischievous. They were always getting into trouble and their parents knew that, if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons were probably involved.The boys' mother heard that...

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Joke about Tithing

A man died and went to heaven.  He was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter who led him down the golden streets.  They past mansions after beautiful mansions until they came to the end of the street where they stopped in front of a shack. The man...

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More Precious than a Precious Stone

More Precious than a Precious Stone A wise woman was traveling in the mountains when she found a precious stone in a stream. The next day she met another traveler who was hungry, and the wise woman opened her bag to share her food. The hungry...

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NOW I Believe!

An atheist was spending a quiet day fishing when suddenly his boat was attacked by the Loch Ness monster. In one easy flip, the beast tossed him and his boat high into the air. Then it opened its mouth to swallow both. As the man sailed head over...

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Pastor’s Wife Joke

Struggling to make ends meet on a first-call salary, the pastor was livid when he confronted his wife with the receipt for a $250 dress she had bought. "How could you do this?!""I was outside the store looking at the dress in the window, and then I...

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Quieting Children in Church

A mother with a fidgety seven-year old boy told me how she finally got her son to sit still. Here's how: about halfway through the sermon, she leaned over and whispered, 'If you don't be quiet, Pastor Charlton is going to lose his place and will...

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The Cab Driver and the Preacher

The Cab Driver and the PreacherA cab driver reaches the Pearly Gates and announces his presence to St. Peter, who looks him up in his Big Book. Upon reading the entry for the cabby, St. Peter invites him to grab a silk robe and a golden staff and...

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Various One Line Jokes

Why was Moses the most wicked man? (He broke all 10 commandments at once.) What animal could Noah not trust? (The cheetah) What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark? (Flood lights) How does a lawyer resemble a rabbi? (Lawyers study the law and...

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