Christian fellowship is presented as the norm of Christian
living. It is a concept that we have all heard of, but do not always
understand. Fellowship is not a two dimensional relationship but a
three dimensional one which also incorporates our relationship with
God. Indeed fellowship without the active participation of God is
friendship. Friendship is fine and good but is only part of what
The material in this chapter is closely related to that of chapter
10 which talked about the Christian church. The church is in one sense
of meaning our corporate fellowship with God. In this chapter we will
look at the relationship of individual believers with each other. The
first section covers your personal fellowship habits and the second
section addresses small groups organized for the purpose of Bible study
Personal Fellowship Primer
Psalm 133:1-3 talks about fellowship and shows us that the
fellowship that we, as Christians, have is a special gift. We need to
remember that it is a privilege to be with each other as brothers and
sisters in Christ. This is a gift from God given to us by Christ
through the ministry of the Spirit.
We are now living in a state of relative spiritual peace.
However, when Christ was ministering to us He was surrounded by His
enemies. Think of how different life would be if we were unable to be
public Christians. The last few years have seen tremendous
opportunities worldwide for Christian fellowship without persecution.
The privileges of fellowship we now have are part of what Christ died
Psalm 133:1-3 A song of ascents. Of David. How good and pleasant
it is when brothers live together in unity! It is like precious oil
poured on the head, running down on the beard, running down on Aaron’s
beard, down upon the collar of his robes. It is as if the dew of Hermon
were falling on Mount Zion. For there the LORD bestows his blessing,
even life for evermore.
For this blessing to be active in our life, several conditions
need to be met. The first is that if we expect to have Christian
fellowship, we must meet other Christians. To do this, we must seek
them out. This means that we must be a visible and public Christian.
We should not limit our search for fellowship to Sunday mornings,
but rather think of it during the whole week. If no one at our plant,
office, school, or neighborhood knows that we are a believer, how can
they fellowship with us? We will have limited ourselves to one day of
fellowship per week.
How different the world becomes for us when we are sharing it with
a brother or sister. This aspect of fellowship gives us many
opportunities for giving and receiving. It can also expose new areas
of our life and work to prayer and Christian obedience. This begins to
happen naturally as we become accountable to each other and Christ.
A second point to consider is that not all fellowship
opportunities will develop into long term relationships. Many will be
a brief meeting. Fellowship may occur on a plane, waiting to be seated
at a restaurant, indeed anywhere there is another Christian. In the
same way that we can limit our fellowship opportunities by only looking
on Sunday, we can also limit fellowship opportunities in other ways. If
we have a laundry list of conditions that must be met before fellowship
can occur we will be limiting God’s ability to bless us and others.
Some people find it helpful to wear a pin or other symbol that
identifies you as a believer. This can help break the ice when
introducing yourself. It all gets back to the fact that a “visible”
Christian will have more fellowship opportunities. Both God, and God’s
people can be found everywhere.
If we are taking concrete steps to meet other Christians what do
we do with them? Well what do Christians do? Look at the passage
Acts 2:41 Those who accepted his message were baptized, and about
three thousand were added to their number that day. They devoted
themselves to the apostles teaching and to the fellowship, to the
breaking of bread and to prayer. Let’s disect the verse.
Christians meet together to share spiritual truths. They are
prepared in heart and mind to be a blessing and to be blessed.
Fellowship, like most other things in life is enhanced if we are
prepared for it. We would not expect to have a good day sailing on the
lake unless we have learned how to sail a boat. In the same way we
should not expect to have good fellowship unless we are prepared for
it. Be prepared to be a blessing to someone by being grounded in God’s
word. For example have a spiritual blessing to share, what has He
shown you today. Share something from the time that you have spent in
Scripture and prayer today. Let the time you spent with God bless two
people instead of just one. Then you can devote yourself to the
teaching and living of God’s way.
Christians meet together to be friends. We are not pure spiritual
beings. We have a human, physical, need to be with other people. Do
things with other Christians, such as, play some ball, pound some
nails, perhaps even do some shopping! Quality Christian fellowship can
often happen around non-spiritual activities. Don’t be afraid to have
some fun. Having a good time while being good is part of God’s plan
for you. It is not at all a bad thing to have fun.
Indeed, if your Christian walk is one of woe and misery, you
probably have more of a spiritual problem than a fleshly problem. The
disciples and Jesus participated in life. They were not wall flowers.
See John 1:2; Matthew 9:10, 14-15; Luke 6:21.
Continuing with the passage from Acts 2, we see that Christians
eat together. Now this sounds kind of simple and boring but Jesus
didn’t think so. Scan a Gospel for references to food, drink, and
eating. I think you will be surprised at how many of them there are.
God, who made us, has given us a dual nature, physical and
spiritual. Eating together with other believers helps us to be whole
because it ministers to the body and spirit. From a practical
standpoint it is also another daily event to bring the Lord into.
When we eat, we can establish a linking pattern or habit of
spiritual activity in something we will not forget to do (that is
eat). Use meals, as well as other recurring events to build in
spiritual opportunities. Praying before your restaurant meal is also
another way of being a visible Christian, although we aim much higher
than a before meal prayer for the fellowship of believers with Christ
and each other.
That brings us to the last item we are looking at in Acts 2.
Christians pray together. Be open for prayer opportunities. Prayer
brings in another player. The fellowship is now three way, between two
(or more) people and the Lord. Matthew 18:20 says “For where two or
three come together in my name, there am I with them.”
As we meet together we also need to know each other well enough so
that we can pray for each other effectively. This means being honest
and open about our triumphs and failures. It means being open to the
opportunity, as well as the vulnerability, needed to pray with each
other. Christ, also made himself vulnerable, even to death, for our
privilege to fellowship with Him.
John, writing in 1 John 1:3 states that one of the purposes of
their (the Apostles) ministry is that we have fellowship with the
Father and the Son, Jesus Christ, and also with them. To be faithful
to the teachings of the Bible we need to be in a state of Christian
1 John 1:3 We proclaim to you what we have seen and heard, so
that you also may have fellowship with us. And our fellowship is with
the Father and with his Son, Jesus Christ. We write this to make our
The passage below from Philippians sheds more light on the
responsibilities we have when in fellowship. When we consider that
fellowship is a divine, and not a human, activity we look at it in a
Philippians 2:1 If you have any encouragement from being united
with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the
Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by
being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and
purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in
humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should
look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of
Comfort, tenderness, compassion, like minded, love, one in spirit,
nothing out of vain conceit or selfish ambition, humility, interests of
others, this one passage has a shopping list of spiritual fellowship
dos and don’ts. We do well to remember them as we meet together.
Fellowship needs to be kept pure, for it to be a reflection of His
kingdom to come. See also 1 Thess 4:9-10, 1 Cor 13:13, 1 Pet 4:8-9,
1 Pet 1:22.
And lastly, be courageous enough to love extravagantly. Love as
if you have an endless supply and you can get more when ever you need
it, for this is indeed the case. Love does truly conquer all. People
truly will know that we are Christians by our love. Good Christian
love allows us to see not with our eyes, but with our heart. Be brave
enough to love first and you will find wonderful people all around you
Group Fellowship Primer
The focus of this section of the chapter is on groups that are
organized with the intent of fostering individual and group
fellowship. God instructs us to meet together in order to spur one
another on to love and good deeds (Hebrews 10:24-25). This will be a
stated purpose of the group, and not a byproduct or auxiliary
function. Ideally the group will have five to twenty people in it.
Many of the same items that we looked at above come into play for
a fellowship group. In addition to the ideas above the group needs to
have leadership, common purpose, and an awareness of the dynamics of a
group. The following pages present a lot of information and it is
sometimes difficult to arrange it. However, I am concentrating on
practical information and not style so I beg your indulgence.
Let’s start by looking at how to help a fellowship group stay
A L I V E.
A fellowship group (A)dores God
(L)istens to God’s Word
(I)nvites others in
(V)alues its members
ADORES GOD How is a group to adore God? The two primary ways are
through worship and prayer.
Fellowship groups should worship together because Christians are
made to worship. Worship helps to get things into a proper
perspective. (See Psalm 73.) Worship unites the people of God around
Worship is also refreshing to groups and individuals. It sets our
hearts on a different plain for a time that will make it easier to
concentrate on spiritual matters.
Bible study can be mere academics if we have no response to what
we hear. Worshiping God together reminds us of our need to be
obedient. We worship God because He is deserving of it. It lets us
remember who the real leader of any Christian gathering is.
LISTENS TO GOD’S WORD Living groups need the living Word. I
believe that the foundation of any organised fellowship or kinship
group should be Bible study. It is important to establish this early
on when a group is beginning. How we treat the Scripture that we learn
is also important. Room needs to be left for variation in
interpretation and application of Scripture. However a group that does
not agree that the Bible is the Word of God will not prosper.
Members of the group need to have open hearts and minds when they
study God’s word. Scripture holds a place of importance in our lives.
When we study, we need to look for application and conviction
personally and as a group. Allow the group and it’s members to be
changed by what they learn. Leaders also need to allow for growth, and
for the fact that the Spirit gifts many people with insight into the
meaning of God’s Word.
INVITES OTHERS IN This feature is part of any group. The
movement of individuals and couples into and out of a group is normal.
Several things can cause this to happen. Obviously the group will not
always do the same things, or study the same topic forever. As the
content of the meeting changes it will move closer to some members
needs and perhaps away from others members ideal.
The members schedules, addresses, and even levels of commitment to
Christ will also change as time passes. This will inevitably lead to
people leaving the fellowship. A group should miss, and be saddened by
the loss of members. However, it is a normal part of the dynamics of a
group and does not mean it is a failure.
Inviting others in is of course very important. New people bring
new ideas and new opportunities for growth. The members of a group
need to focus on friendliness when someone new attends. It will take a
special effort to do this, but it usually comes naturally. A healthy
fellowship will want to be successful and growing.
While it is important to have opportunities for new people to
join, there are times when the intimacy of established relationships is
needed. When this occurs it is all right to close the group for a
time. This will allow all energies to be focused on a particular
need. If the group is to be closed for a time it needs to be for a
reason that will legitimately require it to be closed. Also this
should be communicated to all who wish to join. Don’t pick and choose
who can join. Our exclusiveness is bestowed by our Sovern not
VALUES ITS MEMBERS Romans 12:4-5 says Just as each of us has one
body with many members, and these members do not all have the same
function, so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member
belongs to all the others. The passage could have continued as
follows. Some are given to speak, others to listen, some are given to
laughter, others to contemplation, some are called to sing, and others
to make a joyful noise (Romans 12:10, John 15:17, John 13:34-35).
The Bible study-fellowship group has no place for poking fun at
others, or for slighting their opinions or ideas. The group does not
gossip, or “share” items that are not appropriate about others. We
also recognize that we are all learning as we walk with the Lord day by
Part of valuing each other has to do with opportunities for
service and recognition. A fellowship group can be a wonderful place
to discover your spiritual and other gifts. A good group will
encourage its members to risk trying something they haven’t done
The following outline offers some guidelines for valuing group
I. Each one needs to be accepted
A. Make each person welcome
B. Check up on absentees
C. Fight against cliques
II. Each one needs to serve
A. Encourage participation in group worship and prayer
B. Look for things that people can do
III. Each one needs to be considered
A. When the group defines its purposes
B. When a group decides what projects to undertake
C. When the group makes decisions affecting the life of
IV. Each one needs to be encouraged
A. To use his/her spiritual gift
B. By having prayer requests taken seriously
Ideally a member who misses a meeting will be called by the leader
and others. Everyone matters in a group and we miss anyone who isn’t
present. This will also give opportunities for encouragement and
service if there is a problem or obstacle to be overcome.
EVALUATES ITSELF While the focus of the group is upward, it is
still healthy to take a look inward now and then. Look at establishing
goals, and informally measuring the common progress in meeting them.
Some groups establish a covenant which lists the expectations of the
group. The expectations should look two ways. The group needs to know
what it is expected of the leader, the content, and the opportunities
for growth. At the same time the individual needs to know what is
expected on him.
Does he need to be there at a certain time? How often is it OK to
miss? Does he need to be prepared in some way? Will he be expected to
take a turn in leadership, or as a host? It is best if these and other
questions are discussed before they are a problem rather than after.
The leader of the group has an important job. The following list
contains some of the skills that are important to be a successful
leader. The list is not exhaustive but will help as an evaluation
The designated leader of a small group needs to be able to…
2. Ask questions
3. Get participation in discussions
4. Apply knowledge of small group dynamics
5. Communicate care, warmth, and encouragement
6. Be open with others
7. Involve others in the life of the group
8. Help solve problems
9. Plan and follow a plan
10. Develop future leaders
A leader should also have a walk with the Lord that is worthy of
emulation. He (or she) should model the expectations of the group. A
good leader will encourage members to come and be involved. A good
leader will foster informal leaders. 1 A good leader will not hold
back information to seem smarter, or more “spiritual”. He will be
expecting God’s and his best for the members every week. (Col 4:2-6)
OUTREACH Individually, and as a group, Christians are directed to
share the good news, so it is healthy and proper for the group to have
an outreach. This does not just mean recruiting members for the group,
but souls for Christ. Pray together for God’s leading in this area.
This is also yet another way to develop the members spiritual gifts.
INREACH The group also needs to be a blessing to itself. Some
areas, and ideas are in the list below.
Ministry to children during regular meetings
Group recreation days
One on one time with each other
Here is a list of eight aspects of group anatomy. With each one
is listed its importance to the group. These aspects can be used to
diagnose problems if they exist and to enrich healthy groups.
Provides a means for evaluation
Essential for fulfilling purpose
Essential for Christian witness
Essential for individual fulfillment
Contributes to individuals sense of feeling accepted
Contributes to accomplishing the group task
Contributes to helping the group be unified
Contributes to group growth
Contributes to communication
Background (Cannot be controlled)
Affects cohesion of group
Affects cliques and subgroups
Affects richness of groups resources
Necessary for task fulfillment
Necessary for utilizing resources
Necessary for developing cohesion
Necessary for handling problems
Important for task fulfillment
Important for climate
Important for cohesiveness
Important for group communication
Essential for communication
Essential for climate
Essential for cohesiveness
Essential for Spirit’s ministry
Important for fulfilling groups task
Important for group life
Very few of the things that you do in life will be the blessing
for you and others that being a participating member in a fellowship
group can be. If you are not a member of a group, find one. If you
are be thankful, now look for ways to enrich your group and your
benefits to and from it.
1. Think of some ways that you can become a more visible Christian as
you go about your daily business.
2. What obstacles to true fellowship do we see in 1 John 1:6? In 1
3. What could you personally do to help your group be a richer blessing
4. What could you personally do to make your group a richer blessing
5. Have you found your spiritual gift? Are you using it in your
6. Do you feel that God has equipped you to be a group leader? Why
or why not?
7. How could you become prepared to be a group leader?
1 From the Elmbrook Church small group training classes.