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The Devil’s Beatitudes
AUTHOR: Unknown
PUBLISHED ON: September 9, 2007
DOC SOURCE: http://www.hissheep.org
PUBLISHED IN: Misc.
TAGS: thoughts

1. Blessed are those who are too tired, too busy, too distracted to spend an hour once a week with their fellow Christians — they are my best workers.

2. Blessed are those Christians who wait to be asked and expect to be thanked — I can use them.

3. Blessed are the touchy who stop going to church — they are my missionaries.

4. Blessed are the trouble makers — they shall be called my children.

5. Blessed are the complainers — I’m all ears to them.

6. Blessed are those who are bored with the minister’s mannerisms and mistakes — for they get nothing out of his sermons.

7. Blessed is the church member who expects to be invited to his own church — for he is a part of the problem instead of the solution.

8. Blessed are those who gossip — for they shall cause strife and divisions that please me.

9. Blessed are those who are easily offended — for they will soon get angry and quit.

10. Blessed are those who do not give their offering to carry on God’s work — for they are my helpers.

11. Blessed is he who professes to love God but hates his brother and sister — for he shall be with me forever.

12. Blessed are you who, when you read this think it is about other people and not yourself — I’ve got you too!

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