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Do-It-Yourself Theological Construct

Written by: Unknown    Posted on: 04/14/2003

Category: Humor

Source: CCN

Do-It-Yourself Theological Construct

Compose 10,000 impressive sentences. Select a phrase from each column to form statements which sound profound.

  Column A            Column B          Column C            Column D   -----------------    --------------    --------------      -------------- 1 A formal analysis  1 the meaning of  1 is further        1 the relevant   will quickly show    major elements    compounded by      dynamics of   that                                  considering        Luke-Acts.

2 From an            2 the linguistic  2 imposes          2 the ramifications   exegetical point    consideration    smothering          of consensus-   of view                                constraints upon    building.

3 Although Moltmann  3 a structural    3 necessitates that 3 the clarity of   does not state it    dynamic          urgent              the sociological   in so many words,    analysis          consideration      dimensions.   the implication                        be made of   is clear that

4 There can be no    4 the            4 adds              4 the unfortunate   doubt that          eschatological    considerable        faux-pas of                       structure        urgency to          neo-orthodoxy.

5 Based upon        5 the homiletic  5 calls into        5 any attempt to   interdisciplinary    problem          question            introduce   considerations                                            historical                                                             analysis.

6 In the last        6 a liturgical    6 must give way    6 an emphasis on   analysis            perspective        to                dogmatics.

7 From a strictly    7 the introduction 7 orients the      7 undue reliance on   theological view    of gnosticism      serious scholar    derivative   point                                  toward            materials.

8 Most scholars      8 the underlying  8 provokes an      8 global   seem to have        question          examination of    perspectives.   forgotten that

9 Under the guise    9 an ahistorical  9 tends toward    9 excessive use of   of liberalism        stance                                the 19th century                                                             frameworks.

0 One might say      0 a need to        0 drives us to    0 a soteriological                       master the data    consider          point of view.

Those who have not yet mastered theological conversation will find this guide invaluable in conversing with peers and authorities. Simply think of any 4-digit number (say, 6518) and read off the similarly numbered phrases from columns A, B, C, and D. (For example, 6518 is "In the last analysis, the homiletic problem is further compounded by considering global perspectives.") Never mind what it means; just use it and watch the way you bring conversation to a halt. You can compose profound reports by using varied number combinations.

As you become more proficient in its use, you may wish to experiment with varying the column sequence, e.g., BACD, CBAD, etc. These advanced configurations are not recommended for beginners, however, requiring as they do sophisticated dexterity with punctuation.

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