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NOW I Believe!


Written by: Unknown    Posted on: 01/11/2004

Category: Humor


An atheist was spending a quiet day fishing when suddenly his boat was attacked by the Loch Ness monster. In one easy flip, the beast tossed him and his boat high into the air. Then it opened its mouth to swallow both. As the man sailed head over heels, he cried out, "Oh, my God! Help me!"  At once, the ferocious attack scene froze in place, and as the atheist hung in mid-air, a booming voice came down from the clouds. "I thought you didn't believe in Me!" "Come on God, give me a break!," the man pleaded. "Two minutes ago I didn't believe in the Loch Ness monster either!"

Doc viewed 15078 times.

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Debugging Information
ColdFusion Server Standard 2016,0,12,315717
Template /view.cfm
Time Stamp 11-Dec-19 07:12 PM
Locale English (US)
User Agent CCBot/2.0 (https://commoncrawl.org/faq/)
Remote IP 192.168.10.1
Host Name 192.168.10.1


Execution Time

Total Time Avg Time Count Template
88 ms 88 ms 1 top level C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm
4 ms 4 ms 1 C:/inetpub/wwwroot/believersweb/header.cfm
1 ms 1 ms 1 C:/inetpub/wwwroot/believersweb/Application.cfm
0 ms 0 ms 1 CFC[ C:/inetpub/wwwroot/believersweb/Portcullis.cfc | scan([complex value], form, 192.168.10.1) ] from C:/inetpub/wwwroot/believersweb/Portcullis.cfc
2 ms  STARTUP, PARSING, COMPILING, LOADING, & SHUTDOWN
91 ms  TOTAL EXECUTION TIME
red = over 250 ms average execution time


SQL Queries

docsum (Datasource=believersweb, Time=1ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\header.cfm @ 19:12:44.044
SELECT docName, docDescription, keywords, keyverse
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WHERE docID =  ? 
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visitor (Datasource=believersweb, Time=0ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\header.cfm @ 19:12:44.044
	SELECT visnum
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(Datasource=believersweb_write, Time=1ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\header.cfm @ 19:12:44.044
	UPDATE stats
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getdoc (Datasource=believersweb, Time=2ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 19:12:44.044
SELECT docID, docName, docDate, docAuthor, docCategory, docFileName, docDescription, docsource, viewtimes, keywords, keyverse, docbody
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authorQ (Datasource=believersweb, Time=1ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 19:12:44.044
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catQ (Datasource=believersweb, Time=0ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 19:12:44.044
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docdetails (Datasource=believersweb, Time=1ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 19:12:44.044
SELECT	docid, 	
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keywords (Datasource=believersweb, Time=0ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 19:12:44.044
SELECT	keyword
	
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doclist (Datasource=believersweb, Time=4ms, Records=19) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 19:12:44.044
SELECT	docid, 	
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		keywords
		

FROM documents
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ORDER BY docid
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keyword (Datasource=believersweb, Time=0ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 19:12:44.044
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keyword (Datasource=believersweb, Time=0ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 19:12:44.044
SELECT	keyword, word_id 	
		
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keyword (Datasource=believersweb, Time=0ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 19:12:44.044
SELECT	keyword, word_id 	
		
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keyword (Datasource=believersweb, Time=0ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 19:12:44.044
SELECT	keyword, word_id 	
		
FROM keyword_list
WHERE word_id =  ? 
Query Parameter Value(s) -
Parameter #1(cf_sql_integer) = 62901

keyword (Datasource=believersweb, Time=1ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 19:12:44.044
SELECT	keyword, word_id 	
		
FROM keyword_list
WHERE word_id =  ? 
Query Parameter Value(s) -
Parameter #1(cf_sql_integer) = 62901

keyword (Datasource=believersweb, Time=1ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 19:12:44.044
SELECT	keyword, word_id 	
		
FROM keyword_list
WHERE word_id =  ? 
Query Parameter Value(s) -
Parameter #1(cf_sql_integer) = 62901

keyword (Datasource=believersweb, Time=1ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 19:12:44.044
SELECT	keyword, word_id 	
		
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WHERE word_id =  ? 
Query Parameter Value(s) -
Parameter #1(cf_sql_integer) = 62901

keyword (Datasource=believersweb, Time=1ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 19:12:44.044
SELECT	keyword, word_id 	
		
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keyword (Datasource=believersweb, Time=1ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 19:12:44.044
SELECT	keyword, word_id 	
		
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keyword (Datasource=believersweb, Time=1ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 19:12:44.044
SELECT	keyword, word_id 	
		
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Query Parameter Value(s) -
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keyword (Datasource=believersweb, Time=1ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 19:12:44.044
SELECT	keyword, word_id 	
		
FROM keyword_list
WHERE word_id =  ? 
Query Parameter Value(s) -
Parameter #1(cf_sql_integer) = 62901

keyword (Datasource=believersweb, Time=1ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 19:12:44.044
SELECT	keyword, word_id 	
		
FROM keyword_list
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Query Parameter Value(s) -
Parameter #1(cf_sql_integer) = 62901

keyword (Datasource=believersweb, Time=0ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 19:12:44.044
SELECT	keyword, word_id 	
		
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keyword (Datasource=believersweb, Time=0ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 19:12:44.044
SELECT	keyword, word_id 	
		
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Query Parameter Value(s) -
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keyword (Datasource=believersweb, Time=0ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 19:12:44.044
SELECT	keyword, word_id 	
		
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Parameter #1(cf_sql_integer) = 62901

keyword (Datasource=believersweb, Time=0ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 19:12:44.044
SELECT	keyword, word_id 	
		
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WHERE word_id =  ? 
Query Parameter Value(s) -
Parameter #1(cf_sql_integer) = 62901

keyword (Datasource=believersweb, Time=0ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 19:12:44.044
SELECT	keyword, word_id 	
		
FROM keyword_list
WHERE word_id =  ? 
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Parameter #1(cf_sql_integer) = 62901

keyword (Datasource=believersweb, Time=0ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 19:12:44.044
SELECT	keyword, word_id 	
		
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Query Parameter Value(s) -
Parameter #1(cf_sql_integer) = 62901

keyword (Datasource=believersweb, Time=0ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 19:12:44.044
SELECT	keyword, word_id 	
		
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WHERE word_id =  ? 
Query Parameter Value(s) -
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getmatch (Datasource=believersweb, Time=1ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 19:12:44.044
SELECT docID, docName, docCategory, docDescription
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catQ (Datasource=believersweb, Time=1ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 19:12:44.044
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Query Parameter Value(s) -
Parameter #1(cf_sql_integer) = 4

getmatch (Datasource=believersweb, Time=1ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 19:12:44.044
SELECT docID, docName, docCategory, docDescription
FROM Documents
WHERE docID =  ? 
Query Parameter Value(s) -
Parameter #1(cf_sql_integer) = 527

catQ (Datasource=believersweb, Time=0ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 19:12:44.044
SELECT categoryName FROM Categories WHERE categoryID =  ? 
Query Parameter Value(s) -
Parameter #1(cf_sql_integer) = 4

getmatch (Datasource=believersweb, Time=1ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 19:12:44.044
SELECT docID, docName, docCategory, docDescription
FROM Documents
WHERE docID =  ? 
Query Parameter Value(s) -
Parameter #1(cf_sql_integer) = 528

catQ (Datasource=believersweb, Time=1ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 19:12:44.044
SELECT categoryName FROM Categories WHERE categoryID =  ? 
Query Parameter Value(s) -
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getmatch (Datasource=believersweb, Time=1ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 19:12:44.044
SELECT docID, docName, docCategory, docDescription
FROM Documents
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Query Parameter Value(s) -
Parameter #1(cf_sql_integer) = 529

catQ (Datasource=believersweb, Time=0ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 19:12:44.044
SELECT categoryName FROM Categories WHERE categoryID =  ? 
Query Parameter Value(s) -
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getmatch (Datasource=believersweb, Time=2ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 19:12:44.044
SELECT docID, docName, docCategory, docDescription
FROM Documents
WHERE docID =  ? 
Query Parameter Value(s) -
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catQ (Datasource=believersweb, Time=0ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 19:12:44.044
SELECT categoryName FROM Categories WHERE categoryID =  ? 
Query Parameter Value(s) -
Parameter #1(cf_sql_integer) = 4

getmatch (Datasource=believersweb, Time=1ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 19:12:44.044
SELECT docID, docName, docCategory, docDescription
FROM Documents
WHERE docID =  ? 
Query Parameter Value(s) -
Parameter #1(cf_sql_integer) = 949

catQ (Datasource=believersweb, Time=1ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 19:12:44.044
SELECT categoryName FROM Categories WHERE categoryID =  ? 
Query Parameter Value(s) -
Parameter #1(cf_sql_integer) = 4

getmatch (Datasource=believersweb, Time=1ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 19:12:44.044
SELECT docID, docName, docCategory, docDescription
FROM Documents
WHERE docID =  ? 
Query Parameter Value(s) -
Parameter #1(cf_sql_integer) = 950

catQ (Datasource=believersweb, Time=0ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 19:12:44.044
SELECT categoryName FROM Categories WHERE categoryID =  ? 
Query Parameter Value(s) -
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getmatch (Datasource=believersweb, Time=1ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 19:12:44.044
SELECT docID, docName, docCategory, docDescription
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catQ (Datasource=believersweb, Time=0ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 19:12:44.044
SELECT categoryName FROM Categories WHERE categoryID =  ? 
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getmatch (Datasource=believersweb, Time=1ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 19:12:44.044
SELECT docID, docName, docCategory, docDescription
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catQ (Datasource=believersweb, Time=0ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 19:12:44.044
SELECT categoryName FROM Categories WHERE categoryID =  ? 
Query Parameter Value(s) -
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getmatch (Datasource=believersweb, Time=2ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 19:12:44.044
SELECT docID, docName, docCategory, docDescription
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catQ (Datasource=believersweb, Time=0ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 19:12:44.044
SELECT categoryName FROM Categories WHERE categoryID =  ? 
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getmatch (Datasource=believersweb, Time=1ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 19:12:44.044
SELECT docID, docName, docCategory, docDescription
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catQ (Datasource=believersweb, Time=1ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 19:12:44.044
SELECT categoryName FROM Categories WHERE categoryID =  ? 
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getmatch (Datasource=believersweb, Time=1ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 19:12:44.044
SELECT docID, docName, docCategory, docDescription
FROM Documents
WHERE docID =  ? 
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Parameter #1(cf_sql_integer) = 955

catQ (Datasource=believersweb, Time=0ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 19:12:44.044
SELECT categoryName FROM Categories WHERE categoryID =  ? 
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getmatch (Datasource=believersweb, Time=2ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 19:12:44.044
SELECT docID, docName, docCategory, docDescription
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catQ (Datasource=believersweb, Time=0ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 19:12:44.044
SELECT categoryName FROM Categories WHERE categoryID =  ? 
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getmatch (Datasource=believersweb, Time=1ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 19:12:44.044
SELECT docID, docName, docCategory, docDescription
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catQ (Datasource=believersweb, Time=0ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 19:12:44.044
SELECT categoryName FROM Categories WHERE categoryID =  ? 
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getmatch (Datasource=believersweb, Time=2ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 19:12:44.044
SELECT docID, docName, docCategory, docDescription
FROM Documents
WHERE docID =  ? 
Query Parameter Value(s) -
Parameter #1(cf_sql_integer) = 1241

catQ (Datasource=believersweb, Time=0ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 19:12:44.044
SELECT categoryName FROM Categories WHERE categoryID =  ? 
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getmatch (Datasource=believersweb, Time=1ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 19:12:44.044
SELECT docID, docName, docCategory, docDescription
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catQ (Datasource=believersweb, Time=1ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 19:12:44.044
SELECT categoryName FROM Categories WHERE categoryID =  ? 
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getmatch (Datasource=believersweb, Time=1ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 19:12:44.044
SELECT docID, docName, docCategory, docDescription
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catQ (Datasource=believersweb, Time=0ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 19:12:44.044
SELECT categoryName FROM Categories WHERE categoryID =  ? 
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getmatch (Datasource=believersweb, Time=2ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 19:12:44.044
SELECT docID, docName, docCategory, docDescription
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catQ (Datasource=believersweb, Time=0ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 19:12:44.044
SELECT categoryName FROM Categories WHERE categoryID =  ? 
Query Parameter Value(s) -
Parameter #1(cf_sql_integer) = 4

getmatch (Datasource=believersweb, Time=1ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 19:12:44.044
SELECT docID, docName, docCategory, docDescription
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catQ (Datasource=believersweb, Time=1ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 19:12:44.044
SELECT categoryName FROM Categories WHERE categoryID =  ? 
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Scope Variables

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applicationname=Believersweb
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CGI Variables:
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