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One-liners


Written by: Unknown    Posted on: 04/14/2003

Category: Humor

Source: CCN

                        -----------------

You are really poor when you are so broke you can't even pay attention?

                        -----------------

A will is a dead giveaway.

                        -----------------

He who buys a mobile home doesn't get a lot.

                        -----------------

What's the quickest way to double your money?         Fold it in half.                         -----------------

Death and taxes go hand in hand.  Taxes are murder and murder is taxing.                         -----------------

Did you hear about the Scotsman who punished his son for buying an all-day sucker at 4 p.m?

                        -----------------

The man who is too big for a small job is too small for a big one.

                        -----------------

Nothing is more responsible for the good old days than a bad memory.

                        -----------------

Marriage is an institution that turns a night owl into a homing pigeon.

                        -----------------

People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing.

                        -----------------

A hypocrite is a man who writes a book praising atheism and then prays that it will sell.

                        -----------------

Politicians are like ships - noisiest when lost in a fog.

                        -----------------

Yesterday is experience, tomorrow is hope, today is getting from one to the other as best we can.

                        -----------------

Snap judgments have a way of becoming unfastened.

                        -----------------

You don't get ulcers from what you eat - you get them from what's eating you.

                        -----------------

It's O.K. to be a self-made man if you don't consider the job finished too soon.

                        ------------------

To grow old outside is human, to keep young inside is divine.

Doc viewed 18810 times.

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This articles keywords/phrases are:

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Debugging Information
ColdFusion Server Standard 2016,0,07,311392
Template /view.cfm
Time Stamp 16-Jul-19 09:20 PM
Locale English (US)
User Agent CCBot/2.0 (https://commoncrawl.org/faq/)
Remote IP 192.168.10.1
Host Name 192.168.10.1


Execution Time

Total Time Avg Time Count Template
87 ms 87 ms 1 top level C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm
4 ms 4 ms 1 C:/inetpub/wwwroot/believersweb/header.cfm
1 ms 1 ms 1 C:/inetpub/wwwroot/believersweb/Application.cfm
0 ms 0 ms 1 CFC[ C:/inetpub/wwwroot/believersweb/Portcullis.cfc | scan([complex value], form, 192.168.10.1) ] from C:/inetpub/wwwroot/believersweb/Portcullis.cfc
2 ms  STARTUP, PARSING, COMPILING, LOADING, & SHUTDOWN
90 ms  TOTAL EXECUTION TIME
red = over 250 ms average execution time


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docsum (Datasource=believersweb, Time=1ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\header.cfm @ 21:20:53.053
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(Datasource=believersweb_write, Time=1ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\header.cfm @ 21:20:53.053
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keywords (Datasource=believersweb, Time=0ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 21:20:53.053
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doclist (Datasource=believersweb, Time=3ms, Records=19) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 21:20:53.053
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keyword (Datasource=believersweb, Time=1ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 21:20:53.053
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keyword (Datasource=believersweb, Time=1ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 21:20:53.053
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keyword (Datasource=believersweb, Time=0ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 21:20:53.053
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keyword (Datasource=believersweb, Time=0ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 21:20:53.053
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keyword (Datasource=believersweb, Time=1ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 21:20:53.053
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keyword (Datasource=believersweb, Time=0ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 21:20:53.053
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keyword (Datasource=believersweb, Time=0ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 21:20:53.053
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keyword (Datasource=believersweb, Time=0ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 21:20:53.053
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keyword (Datasource=believersweb, Time=1ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 21:20:53.053
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keyword (Datasource=believersweb, Time=0ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 21:20:53.053
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keyword (Datasource=believersweb, Time=1ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 21:20:53.053
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keyword (Datasource=believersweb, Time=0ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 21:20:53.053
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keyword (Datasource=believersweb, Time=1ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 21:20:53.053
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keyword (Datasource=believersweb, Time=1ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 21:20:53.053
SELECT	keyword, word_id 	
		
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keyword (Datasource=believersweb, Time=0ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 21:20:53.053
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getmatch (Datasource=believersweb, Time=1ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 21:20:53.053
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getmatch (Datasource=believersweb, Time=1ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 21:20:53.053
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catQ (Datasource=believersweb, Time=0ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 21:20:53.053
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getmatch (Datasource=believersweb, Time=0ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 21:20:53.053
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getmatch (Datasource=believersweb, Time=0ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 21:20:53.053
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getmatch (Datasource=believersweb, Time=1ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 21:20:53.053
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catQ (Datasource=believersweb, Time=0ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 21:20:53.053
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getmatch (Datasource=believersweb, Time=2ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 21:20:53.053
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getmatch (Datasource=believersweb, Time=0ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 21:20:53.053
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getmatch (Datasource=believersweb, Time=0ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 21:20:53.053
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getmatch (Datasource=believersweb, Time=1ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 21:20:53.053
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getmatch (Datasource=believersweb, Time=1ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 21:20:53.053
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getmatch (Datasource=believersweb, Time=1ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 21:20:53.053
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getmatch (Datasource=believersweb, Time=1ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 21:20:53.053
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getmatch (Datasource=believersweb, Time=1ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 21:20:53.053
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catQ (Datasource=believersweb, Time=1ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 21:20:53.053
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getmatch (Datasource=believersweb, Time=1ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 21:20:53.053
SELECT docID, docName, docCategory, docDescription
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catQ (Datasource=believersweb, Time=1ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 21:20:53.053
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getmatch (Datasource=believersweb, Time=1ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 21:20:53.053
SELECT docID, docName, docCategory, docDescription
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catQ (Datasource=believersweb, Time=0ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 21:20:53.053
SELECT categoryName FROM Categories WHERE categoryID =  ? 
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getmatch (Datasource=believersweb, Time=1ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 21:20:53.053
SELECT docID, docName, docCategory, docDescription
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catQ (Datasource=believersweb, Time=0ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 21:20:53.053
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getmatch (Datasource=believersweb, Time=2ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 21:20:53.053
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catQ (Datasource=believersweb, Time=0ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 21:20:53.053
SELECT categoryName FROM Categories WHERE categoryID =  ? 
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getmatch (Datasource=believersweb, Time=2ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 21:20:53.053
SELECT docID, docName, docCategory, docDescription
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catQ (Datasource=believersweb, Time=0ms, Records=1) in C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm @ 21:20:53.053
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HTTP_URL=/view.cfm?id=527&rc=1&list=multi
HTTP_USER_AGENT=CCBot/2.0 (https://commoncrawl.org/faq/)
LOCAL_ADDR=192.168.10.5
PATH_INFO=
PATH_TRANSLATED=C:\inetpub\wwwroot\believersweb\view.cfm
QUERY_STRING=id=527&rc=1&list=multi
REMOTE_ADDR=192.168.10.1
REMOTE_HOST=192.168.10.1
REMOTE_USER=
REQUEST_METHOD=GET
SCRIPT_NAME=/view.cfm
SERVER_NAME=believersweb.org
SERVER_PORT=443
SERVER_PORT_SECURE=1
SERVER_PROTOCOL=HTTP/1.1
SERVER_SOFTWARE=Microsoft-IIS/8.0
WEB_SERVER_API=
Cookie Variables:
CFID=2486438
CFTOKEN=4cb16ae55fdb6614-E958A39A-C294-74F4-3551FA1C1F29852A
Server Variables:
coldfusion=Struct (10)
os=Struct (5)
Session Variables:
cfid=2486438
cftoken=4cb16ae55fdb6614-E958A39A-C294-74F4-3551FA1C1F29852A
contentwidth=825
sessionid=BELIEVERSWEB_2486438_4cb16ae55fdb6614-E958A39A-C294-74F4-3551FA1C1F29852A
sessiontimer={ts '2019-07-16 21:20:53'}
urltoken=CFID=2486438&CFTOKEN=4cb16ae55fdb6614-E958A39A-C294-74F4-3551FA1C1F29852A
visitor=1
URL Parameters:
id=527
list=multi
rc=1
Debug Rendering Time: 7 ms