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Do-It-Yourself Theological Construct
AUTHOR: Unknown
PUBLISHED ON: April 14, 2003
DOC SOURCE: CCN
PUBLISHED IN: Humor
TAGS: humor | jokes

Do-It-Yourself Theological Construct

Compose 10,000 impressive sentences. Select a phrase from each column to form statements which sound profound.

  Column A            Column B          Column C            Column D
  —————–    ————–    ————–      ————–
1 A formal analysis  1 the meaning of  1 is further        1 the relevant
  will quickly show    major elements    compounded by      dynamics of
  that                                  considering        Luke-Acts.

2 From an            2 the linguistic  2 imposes          2 the ramifications
  exegetical point    consideration    smothering          of consensus-
  of view                                constraints upon    building.

3 Although Moltmann  3 a structural    3 necessitates that 3 the clarity of
  does not state it    dynamic          urgent              the sociological
  in so many words,    analysis          consideration      dimensions.
  the implication                        be made of
  is clear that

4 There can be no    4 the            4 adds              4 the unfortunate
  doubt that          eschatological    considerable        faux-pas of
                      structure        urgency to          neo-orthodoxy.

5 Based upon        5 the homiletic  5 calls into        5 any attempt to
  interdisciplinary    problem          question            introduce
  considerations                                            historical
                                                            analysis.

6 In the last        6 a liturgical    6 must give way    6 an emphasis on
  analysis            perspective        to                dogmatics.

7 From a strictly    7 the introduction 7 orients the      7 undue reliance on
  theological view    of gnosticism      serious scholar    derivative
  point                                  toward            materials.

8 Most scholars      8 the underlying  8 provokes an      8 global
  seem to have        question          examination of    perspectives.
  forgotten that

9 Under the guise    9 an ahistorical  9 tends toward    9 excessive use of
  of liberalism        stance                                the 19th century
                                                            frameworks.

0 One might say      0 a need to        0 drives us to    0 a soteriological
                      master the data    consider          point of view.

Those who have not yet mastered theological conversation will find this guide invaluable in conversing with peers and authorities. Simply think of any 4-digit number
(say, 6518) and read off the similarly numbered phrases from columns A, B, C, and D. (For example, 6518 is “In the last analysis, the homiletic problem is further
compounded by considering global perspectives.”) Never mind what it means; just use it and watch the way you bring conversation to a halt. You can compose
profound reports by using varied number combinations.

As you become more proficient in its use, you may wish to experiment with varying the column sequence, e.g., BACD, CBAD, etc. These advanced configurations
are not recommended for beginners, however, requiring as they do sophisticated dexterity with punctuation.

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